WCW Uncensored 1996 Review

I'm honestly not sure a caption can improve this image

Listen to our March 1996 WCW podcast, reviewing Uncensored in full.

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This was it, finally heels in WCW were claiming they were going to end Hulkamania at Uncensored – it's not like we hadn't seen this promo about five times already since Hogan arrived. The idea for Uncensored was their most preposterous yet, a triple decker "Doomsday" Cage, orginally slated for a 4 on 1 match then doubled in size to see Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage take on the "Alliance To End Hulkamania". A team including Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, The Taskmaster and Lex Luger and, if you believed WCW over the week prior – Brian Pillman and potentially even Dennis Rodman.  

Pillman's story between the end of Superbrawl and this show was either ludicrous or non-existent, depending on how much of ECW you follow. Having left the show, Pillman rocked up at ECW's Cyberslam event six days later, having been "fired" by that "piece of fucking shit" Eric Bischoff. The whole thing, of course, was a storyline, and after a program with Shane Douglas that didn't really go anywhere, Pillman returned to Nitro as part of an end of Nitro attack.  

Eleswhere, Ed Leslie's latest gimmick was the "Booty Man" (I've got no idea), he was pitted off against the former partner of his new admirer (Kimberly Page) in Diamond Dallas Page. While Page's set of matches with Johnny B Badd we're probably wearing a bit thin by this stage, Badd quit the company a fortnight prior to the show and so instead we got this pairing. 
And, with Luger inexplicably parachuted into the main event, the "Chicago Street Fight" that Luger himself instigated would be filled with the team of Sting and Booker T taking on The Road Warriors. The Steiner Brothers, who returned to WCW just a few weeks prior, would have to settle for a match on the pre show, and "Loch Ness" (aka Giant Haystacks) makes his only formal WCW PPV appearance after having appeared in the closing angle at Superbrawl. 
 
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Eddie Guerrero vs Konnan for the United States Title 
An impressive opening five minutes in front of a crowd that absolutely did not care about the ground work and rest holds in the match. Things picked up with a series of arm drags and Guerrero showing off some high intensity, high flying offense later in the match. Konnan set up Guerrero for the Razor's Edge, then turned it into a powerbomb in one of the moves that got one of the bigger pops. After all that, it ends with Guerrero going for a Thesz press then being "low blowed" (your guess is as good as mine) by Konnan while taking the move. Quite what the plan with the finish was I don't know, but it looked stupid.  Konnan picks up the victory. 


Lord Steven Regal (w/ Jeeves) defeated The Belfast Bruiser (Fit Finlay)
These two beat the piss out of each other, no other way of describing it. At one stage in the match, Finlay hits Regal with a closed left so heavy it broke his nose – Regal spent the remainder of the match bloodied and the commentary team pop, for once, sold the intensity. 17 hard hitting minutes with two guys who were very familiar with each other which ended in a slightly disappointing manner with interference from both Earl Robert Eaton and Squire David Taylor. Finlay wins by DQ, that was great. 


Col Robert Parker vs Medusa 
Well, it wouldn't be Uncensored without something monumentally stupid, would it? Parker and Medusa actually go for a collar and elbow tie up, which pops the commentators, Medusa sends Parker over after winning the test of strength, her smile a genuine reaction to the comedy of the situation. The match loses some steam after this (why would anyone be invested in this?) In the end Medusa goes for a German suplex with bridge, Dick Slater pulls her off the pin and Parker covers her for the three. 


Diamond Dallas Page vs The Booty Man 
Oh boy. SIXTEEN minutes this lasted. Too many rest holds that went on far too long – the match was really, really dull. Kimberley comes out in a cheerleader outfit dressed like the Booty Man, she's infatuated with him in a way that's really awkward. In the end she gets on the apron, DDP kisses her, Booty Man hits the high-knee (get it?) and wins the match. Awful - quite possibly the worst match we've covered since the podcast started. 
 

Loch Ness vs The Giant (w/ Jimmy Hart) 
So they sorta turned Loch Ness before this match, essentially saying he'd been flown over by Hart for the match against Hogan in the main event but Hart had gone back on that deal. Quite who or what thought this was a good idea I don't know, but at least it was short. One memorable moment in the match was Giant charging at Loch in the corner, he moved and Giant went right over the top rope to the floor. Giant ends it with a Hogan special: a soft big boot and and a leg drop, and that's the end of Loch Ness.  


The Road Warriors (Hawk and Animal) vs Booker T and Sting in a Chicago Street Fight 
Twenty nine minutes – a match so long that the Road Warriors blew up in so early they actually found a second wind down the stretch. I really enjoyed this match, a good old fashioned brawl where the lack of cardio of the LOD actually fit the story. It broke down quickly into a ringside brawl with chair shots, guard-rial shots and a ludicrous amount of low blows were used.  
Booker T had a great showing here, in amongst Sting and a legendary tag team he showed that he could belong at this kind of level, displaying his range of kicks. The match flat lined a bit in the middle but came strong at the end, Booker lead Animal to a backstage area where Luger and Stevie Ray were waiting, they ended up duct-taping Animal to a supporting beam so he was trapped. Ray comes out, hits Hawk over the back with a chair and Booker picks up the victory. Long match, but entertaining enough.  


The Alliance To End Hulkamania (Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, Meng, The Barbarian, The Taskmaster, Ze Gangsta And The Ultimate Solution w/ Jimmy Hart, Woman, Miss Elizabeth) vs Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in a Doomsday Cage Match 
The whole show had been going on in the shadow of the triple decker cage that basically filled the space where the staging area would be. It actually looked quite demonic at times (particularly when they used some odd colour lighting to showcase it). The rules, that were never really explained, would see Hogan and Savage have to fight their way from the top section, through the two middle sections then, in theory in the ring that was on the bottom section (yes, they erected a ring specifically for this match on the staging area). As for Pillman and Dennis Rodman? Who knows. Ze Gangsta and The Ultimate Solution were two gargantuans who had been showcased on the Nitro prior to the show, and the Faces of Fear (Meng and Barbarian) were two late additions. 
What can you say about this match, honestly? Over 25 minutes of plodding, nonsensical action. Hogan and Savage brawled with Flair and Arn in the first compartment at the top, the floor so unsteady they couldn't really do anything beyond scrap. They made it down to floor #2, this time fighting off the Faces of Fear and Luger/Taskmaster. Hogan drags Taskmaster out of the cage onto the scaffolding area adjacent, Taskmaster ends up clinging ot the framing as Hogan threatens to kick him off of the 20ft drop. 
The match continued into farce in the final third, after it spilled into the actual ring – with Hogan and Savage going against Luger and Taskmaster, we eventually get back into the ring underneath the cage, where The Ultimate Solution and Ze Gangsta appear (and we get the reappearance of Flair and Anderson). This goes on for a few minutes, power gets involved, Luger decks Flair, Savage and Hogan escape before Savage remembers he might actually need to pin Flair to win the match. A proper mess.  
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Score Rating: 5/10 
Go Back And Watch: The first two matches are very good, the Sting/Booker T tag match I enjoyed more than most but it’s still a good story and a good showing for Booker. As for the main event… it’s batshit crazy but I think it needs to be seen.